Stealth Chai [Intro – Spy Movie Vibe, Lo-Fi Beat Underneath] Hoodie up. Hat low. Parked far from the front — nobody can know. I’m a man. With needs. And those needs taste like cinnamon and deceit. [Verse 1 – Dad’s Internal Struggle Flow] Yeah I lift… my kids. Got a grill with four speeds. Watchin’ football, wearin’ jeans from Kohl’s But deep down inside… My soul wants rolls. (Pumpkin ones.) Walk into Target like “act normal” Pushin’ a cart like I’m here for a urinal But I’m headin’ to the back with a quiet sigh For that sweet, sweet nectar: pumpkin chai Don’t tell my barber Don’t tell the group chat Don’t tell Dan from work I got foam on my mustache [Chorus – Epic Whispery Hook] Stealth chai… in a red cup Pumpkin dreams, but I manned up Big coat on, no shame in sight ‘Cause I need that spice to feel alright Stealth chai… walkin’ proud Sippin’ slow with the Target crowd A dad’s desire — I won’t lie This basic bro just needs that chai [Verse 2 – Barista’s Verse (Sassy Female Flow)] I saw him creepin’ through the throw pillows Actin’ all cool in cargo below He said “Uh, hey — can I get that drink?” I said, “Say it with your chest, king — pumpkin with the pink?” He said “Yeah… but like, make it strong Maybe add espresso so it sounds like a manly song” I said “Sir, you want oat milk foam” He said “…Yeah, but whisper it low.” [Verse 3 – Dad Acceptance Arc] Now I don’t hide it, I sip with pride Flannel flappin’ in my pumpkin ride Got spice in my beard, joy in my soul That chai hit deep — it made me whole So tell your bros, tell your crew If you ain’t sippin’ spice, who even are you? Fall ain’t fall without that heat It’s not weakness — it’s flavor elite [Chorus – Full Blast Repeat] Stealth chai… no more shame This latte life ain’t just a game I’m PSL’d, I’m feelin’ blessed This dad bod sippin’ with no regrets Stealth chai… now in plain sight I’ll bring Dan one — just not tonight Cause real men sip and real men cry Over whipped cream love and pumpkin chai [Outro – ASMR Sip] sluuuurp “Yeah, uh… can I get a muffin too?”